There’s nothing quite like an obviously prefabricated celebrity meltdown.
Over the weekend, onetime ubiquitous comedic actor and current “eccentric” millionaire with too much time on his hands Jim Carrey stopped by a Harper’s Bazaar party amid New York Fashion Week. According to THR, it was there that Carrey declared his ambivalence and contempt for New York Fashion Week and everything it stands for.
“I wanted to find the most meaningless thing I could come to and join, and here I am,” he beamed to E! reporter Catt Sadler, who handles Carrey’s smug douchery with the stoicism of a seasoned war correspondent.
Okay, I realize that when your ex-girlfriend commits suicide and her family blames you to the extent that they literally take you to court, that messes with your head. So maybe Carrey isn’t thinking clearly.
Nevertheless, he’s acting like a complete dickhead here, and I’m not buying this freakout. My gripe isn’t so much with acknowledging the vapidity and narcissism of the fashion industry. Of course the fashion industry is very vapid, and very narcissistic. In other news, water is wet, kittens are adorable, and dirt makes a poor substitute for food.
Carrey pointed out the obvious, possibly thinking the rest of us would mistake the obvious for profundity, then doubled down with some freshman year mushroom trip metaphysics. Oh jeez, are we really all just “a field of energy dancing for itself”? Enlighten us further, Professor Bong Hit.
If Shitty Riddler wants to know how to pull of a proper phony celebrity meltdown, he should call up Joaquin Phoenix and ask for pointers. When Phoenix decided to not really freak out in the late ’00s, he came out the other end with a highly underrated mockumentary I’m Still Here. Plus, he did such an amazing job pretending to ruin his career, that Casey Affleck allegedly tried to legit ruin his own career by (again, allegedly) getting crazy weird and sexually harassing the bejesus out of every woman on the I’m Still Here set. (Allegedly!).
Eh, on that note, maybe Ace Ventura should look to Phoenix as an example of what not to do.
OTTAWA, ON—In the dead of the night, a desperate man answered a Craigslist ad in a way that raised many, many questions.
“Look, I’d been in a dry spell longer than the line-up for Axe Body Spray samples at a national douchebag convention,” explains Eric DeWitt, 41, who mistakenly assumed he was replying to a post offering a night of fun, no-strings-attached sex with a woman named Robyn.
“Robyn’s just a straight-up hot name. I didn’t even need to see a photo,” DeWitt explains. “Again—really can’t overstate how long it’s been.”
The title of the ad read “AVAILABLE: One nightstand,” and DeWitt confesses that when he blearily came across the posting at 3:12 a.m., he “just didn’t really consider” why it featured a photo of a small mahogany bedside table in great condition aside from a small scratch in the left-hand corner.
Really felt I’d hit the jackpot with that ad.– Eric DeWitt, 41
He sighs. “I figured this Robyn lady was just… I don’t know, offering a peek into her bedroom, like a way of saying, ‘heyyyyyyy, this is where all our hot action will take place.’ I can appreciate now that that’s emphatically not the case.”
The details of the ad were sparse: “Pretty good shape”; “Stable”; and “Identical twin available for the other side of the bed if you’re interested”.
“All things I look for when I decide to take a lover,” DeWitt shares. “Really felt I’d hit the jackpot with that ad.”
The ad went on to say “Pick-up Only,” which DeWitt interpreted as, “well yeah, any gentleman on a booty call knows to come with some sexy lines prepared. You don’t just suddenly get naked, guys. You have to ease into it using any one of the great pick-up lines in my Great Pick-up Lines binder.”
He gestures to the overstuffed black three-ring binder beside him filled with neon post-it notes, dog-eared pages and extensively highlighted sections.
When DeWitt finally worked up the courage to respond to Robyn’s ad, the phone call lasted exactly eight seconds.
“I opened with my sexy binder voice, or SBV as the ladies know it, reading just a killer line from page 33,” DeWitt explains.
“Yeah, so she shut that down pretty instantly.”
At press time, Robyn’s Craigslist ad had been updated to read “AVAILABLE: Small table to put beside your bed. As in furniture” and the seller’s name had been changed to “noted octogenarian Horace Grumblefist VII”.
Most stoners don’t appreciate alcohol and vice versa. Alcohol lovers aren’t too fond of the Bum Bhole either. But this particular product might just bring the two communities together and make people who like both, rejoice!
Winemakers in California are commercially producing marijuana-laced wines, known as Canna Vine. So now, you can get drunk and not feel bad about it!
- You can get your hands on a bottle of this elixir only on a prescription.
- It’s extremely expensive, like $120-400 for half a bottle.
- It’s only available in the state of California, US.
If you think you can check all of these in your list, you’re a lucky person. 😀
The component used in the production of Mary Jane Wines is hemp CBD which does not get you high as opposed to marijuana which is rich in psychoactivity producing THC.
Stay awesome folks!
Robin Dunbar, director of Oxford University’s social and evolutionary neuroscience research group, has discovered that men need a minimum of two guy’s nights per week to maintain good health.
The psychologist even goes as far to say that to reap the benefits of male bonding, which include faster recovery times when faced with illness, they need to “do stuff” while they socialise including drinking beer and laughing together. It also helps to play a number of team sports. He said:
Bonds can be formed through a range of activities from team sports to male banter – or simply having a pint with your pals on a Friday night.
As it stands, due to the busy nature of modern day life, one in three men in the UK can’t find the time to meet once a week with their pals, and 40% of men are able to make it a weekly event. Dunbar says that online and digital contact will not suffice and that men need to meet face-to-face if they want to feel the bond.
The study also showed men to have an inner circle of a small group of guys. If the group gets too big, laughter is less likely, as are the endorphins released by the interactions, which are said to be responsible for the health benefits of this male bonding time.
So there you have it guys. Put down the laptop, leave work early and get yourself down the pub with your buddies ASAP. Your health depends on it!! 😍❤🍺🍻👍