Have you ever taken a picture and double taken because it looks much ruder than you had intended? Well, it turns out that it’s a pretty common occurrence. All over the world, slight changes in camera angles and lighting are turning innocent snaps into some seriously inappropriate viewing.
It’s not just people who’ve got dirty minds who misinterpret these pictures, either. They look so far from reality that, to the unsuspecting viewer, they’re as X-rated as they appear to be. It’s only with a considerable amount of staring that the innocent truth becomes apparent.
Here are 24 snaps that look rude, but are actually perfectly innocent…
1. Look at the girth on that, um, sausage?!
Okay, admittedly the packaging of this giant sausage is a giveaway, but who knows? Maybe some poor animal lost its manhood in the most humiliating way possible, and now it’s mistakenly being sold as a German sausage. It’s enough to put me off Oktoberfest.
2. I wonder if this was advertised as a full body massage
Massages have long been associated with “happy endings”, and this ad is doing nothing to dispel this stereotype. Thankfully, however, it’s biologically impossible for a person to have a vagina on their neck, even if this “lady box” looks pretty convincing.
3. What a lovely pair of… knees!
We live in a world where female nipples are constantly censored, so it’s no wonder that this picture looks like full frontal nudity on a first glance.
4. Surely not?!
Female pubic hair is a contentious issue and many people opt for a “landing strip” instead of a full Brazilian, but this is just a close up of an eye!
Unintentionally sexual optical illusions frequently go viral on the internet. Whilst memes are all well and good, they’re created to make people chuckle, but these accidental NSFW pictures are a lot better because they’re so accidental.
5. Hanging low!!
From a distance, this picture really is as dirty as it appears to be. It looks like this guy’s manhood has slipped through his pants!
6. He’s been trolled by the weather
Whilst phallic optical illusions must be embarrassing for the people involved, at least this weatherman looks like he’s got a massive dong!
7. This is the worst one yet…
Whoever designed this slide has got a sin to answer for, especially as they knew that it was going to be used by children. Those flaps look too much like a vagina for it to have been accidental! Oh well, I guess we can just say that it’s the circle of life in action.
8. Someone’s getting fired
People don’t like to kiss and tell. We might occasionally talk about our sex lives after one too many glasses of vino, but no one wants their latest conquest to get aired on the news. You’d have thought they’d have been more subtle with their word choice!
A fun fact about optical illusions is that they’re created by our minds. When we’re presented with an image, we rack our brains in search of the easiest interpretation of it, so if something happens to look more like a penis than a shoe, that’s exactly what we’ll see.
9. Your guess is as good as mine…
Unless this was a still from an X-rated movie, it’s highly unlikely that two women would take a selfie in front of a penis. Plus, any man with a penis larger than a woman’s head should probably seek medical help immediately.
10. Put some pants on!
If you didn’t know better, you’d think that this girl’s privacy had been invaded. Thankfully, it’s just her friend’s awkwardly-placed arm.
11. She’s confident! Oh, wait a minute…
People who slut-shame tell women to close their legs. This woman’s legs appear to be opened up so wide that it looks like she’s about to give birth!
12. That’s a position I’ve not seen before
Talk about taking a picture at exactly the right angle. But what’s even more shocking is the fact that this guy never whacked his head off her butt!
It is only after staring at an optical illusion for a few seconds that our brains realize that something doesn’t quite add up – when what we think we are seeing doesn’t make sense in the context it was taken. After all, it’s physically impossible for someone’s head to fit in an anus…
13. The kinkiest of palm trees
If they ever make an X-rated version of SpongeBob SquarePants, maybe he should live inside a phallus-shaped palm tree instead of a pineapple!
14. Who knew the English were so filthy?!
Big Ben isn’t the only dong on Westminster Bridge. I wonder if the makers of the bridge had any idea how the light could affect their design?
15. Get your mind out of the gutter!
This is definitely not a photo you’d want to catch a glimpse of a colleague looking at in work. You’d be the talk of the lunchroom for weeks. (Look closer, it’s just a family of pigs!)
16. He’s going to kill his best man when he sees this
The groom’s supposed to contain his excitement until his wedding night, but thanks to this goom’s best man, he appears to have gotten randy at the ceremony itself. Oh well, I guess it’s a good story for the grandkids when they’re older.
The internet’s full of pornography. In fact, it’s been estimated that 37% of online content is porn. However, it’s one thing to deliberately seek out adult material, it’s another to stumble across accidental porn otherwise innocent websites like Facebook – as these pictures prove.
17. How to accidentally ruin a cute couple photo…
Some of the funniest fails happen when perfectly innocent things look dirty. If you thought this man’s hand looked like something he probably wouldn’t be showing off in a picture, then it’s safe to say that you’ve not just got a vivid imagination, but a dirty mind too!
18. It’s just a baby’s feet
Talk about a sweet photo suddenly becoming disturbing! But hey, I’m sure this baby and their mom will be able to laugh about it in years to come. If they’re bold enough, it could even make for a hilarious profile picture on social media.
19. Surely that’s not a glass dildo?
Ah, it’s a trophy! But hey, it could have more than one use…
20. That’s one huge…
If I saw this sausage at the store, I think I’d pass. Who knows what I’d be eating?!
No one wants to get caught viewing NSFW content in work. It can lead to a lot of awkward questions and, potentially, trouble. How would you feel if you saw a colleague looking at these pictures on their company laptop? You’d probably jump to a lot of conclusions.
21. The most brazen Royal couple in history
22. It’s not going to suck itself…
Whilst I’d like to think that this poor cat is oblivious to how filthy it’s being, its expression says otherwise!
23. This guy was very excited to be at the beach
I’m not a man, but if I was, I imagine that one of my worst nightmares would be accidentally getting a hard-on whilst wearing swimming trunks (and God forbid speedos), especially if there ended up being photographic evidence of it afterward.
24. That poor doggo
The worst thing about this picture is that this dog’s probably adorable, but it looks like a giant d*ng here.
This list is proof that even our most innocuous photographs can become kinky with the right angle and timing. So the next time a picture makes you look twice, just remember that it’s your brain being lazy. With enough staring, you’ll see what’s really going on.
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